USING THE NEW-HABIT METHOD
TO CHANGE A BAD HABIT
Tutorial © 2007 Robert Kilgore, Pittsburgh, Pa.
The New-Habit method is a very quick self-help technique for getting rid of a bad habit. When done properly, it can completely eliminate the bad habit within a few days.
Important ! Exaggeration, ridiculous association and repetition is used in the New-Habit method and is necessary for the technique to work. The best way to do the New-Habit method is to just read it and not attempt to micro-analyze it. The goal is to get results quickly. You can micro-analyze it later.
Disclaimer: Please use at your own risk. This is not a medical technique and individual results are not guaranteed. The author of this paper uses it and it works on him.
What is a Bad Habit? What is a Good Habit?
A habit is a recurring pattern of behavior that is performed to satisfy a desire or a need. It is sometimes difficult to determine if a habit is good or bad because everyone has different desires and needs. A good habit for one person may be a bad habit to someone else. So for the purpose of this discussion, good and bad habits will be defined as:
· A GOOD HABIT is any habit that YOU want.
· A BAD HABIT is any habit that YOU do not want.
We all have bad habits. We don't get enough sleep, we eat too much junk food, we leave the toilet seat up, we bite our nails and quite a few more that we don't even know we have. To many of us, it seems like these bad habits just appeared all of a sudden out of nowhere without much effort. An unwanted fear is also considered to be a bad habit.
Why is it so difficult to get rid of a Bad Habit?
Most people seem to think that they are stuck with their bad habits because they don't know how to get rid of them and when they do try to get rid of them, they keep on coming back. So why bother !
The main reason, that most methods used to eliminate a bad habit fail, is because most methods use "will-power" or "force of will" to stop the bad habit. But will-power does not stop the desire or the craving for the bad habit. This causes a gradual buildup of the desire that gets stronger the longer you stay away from the bad habit. Eventually the desire becomes so strong that the next time you are put into a stressful situation, a weak moment will cause the desire to take over and you will go back to the bad habit. Unfortunately, every time you do this, the momentary pleasure you get from going back to the bad habit also reinforces the bad habit so that it gets even harder to stop next time. Eventually, it becomes easier just to live with the bad habit and you give up trying to change it.
What's Good About the New-Habit Method?
The New-Habit method reduces and then eliminates the desire for the bad habit so that there is no longer any reason to go back to it. It then replaces it with the opposite of the bad habit (the good habit). And all this is done very quickly, usually in a few days.
What is the New-Habit Method?
The New-Habit method is a pain-pleasure based self-help technique used for quickly and successfully eliminating bad habits. It is a much improved version of the NLP SWISH technique that has been simplified so that knowledge of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is not required to use it. The New-Habit method is a simple four step process.
1. Clearly and specifically define the bad habit. This eliminates confusion as to exactly what you are trying to do. Define the good habit to be the opposite of the bad habit since the goal is to get rid of the bad habit.
Then REWORD the bad habit so that it describes a single action that is noticeable and testable that needs to occur for the bad habit to be present. The rewording is correct when the opposite of that action also describes the good habit.
In addition, define the results that you expect from using this method. Describe (without too much detail) what will reasonably happen to you after you complete the 4 steps of the New-Habit method.
2. Get LEVERAGE. Give yourself a reason to change and imagine, "in your mind as it is happening to you", ways to make the unwanted bad habit very painful and unpleasant so that you want it to stop NOW. Also, imagine, "in your mind as it is happening to you", ways to make the desired good habit very pleasant and enjoyable so that you must have it NOW. This is called getting leverage.
Leverage reduces the desire for the bad habit, increases the desire for the good habit and is used to convince you that you can change, you want to change and you must change.
3. Do the SWISH. This step destroys the desire for the bad habit, which effectively destroys it, and replaces it with the desire for the good habit. It is the SWISH that actually changes the bad habit. If done properly (and with enough leverage), the bad habit will be destroyed and the good habit will take its place.
4. Give yourself HINTS and things to do, so you will be encouraged to use the good habit immediately. The hints will make it easier and more enjoyable to use the good habit. The list of things to do will help you to immediately use the good habit.
"Do the 4-step New-Habit method at least 3 times a day for about 5 days and the bad habit will be eliminated and the good habit will take its place".
How do you Reword the Habits?
Clearly define the bad habit so that there is no confusion as to what you want to do. The goal is to get rid of the bad habit, so define the good habit to be the opposite of the bad habit. Then reword the bad habit so that it describes a single action that is noticeable and testable that needs to occur for the bad habit to be present. The rewording is correct when the opposite of that action also describes the good habit.
Example! You want to stop eating candy bars. The bad habit can be defined as "you eat candy bars". The good habit will then be defined as "you do not eat candy bars". To eat candy bars you have to put them into your mouth. You can't eat candy bars if they are not in your mouth so a good rewording would be:
· The bad habit occurs when you put candy bars in your mouth.
· The good habit occurs when you keep candy bars out of your mouth.
The goal is still the same, "to stop eating candy bars". We just restated it so that it describes a single action that is noticeable and testable that needs to be taken to achieve that goal, "to stop eating candy bars" you have to "keep candy bars out of your mouth".
Now make a list of what you expect after you complete the 4 step New-Habit method. The expected results will be: (Don't get too carried away on this. Be reasonable.)
1. You will stop eating candy bars.
2. You will no longer have any desire to eat candy bars.
3. You will have the desire to take much better care of yourself.
4. You will do whatever it takes to make your life successful.
For this example the expected results are that you will stop eating candy bars and you will have a much more positive attitude. The extra stuff beyond keeping candy bars out of your mouth is to give you additional reasons to change. So keep your expectations high and change will come easier.
How do you get Leverage?
Leverage gives you a reason to stop the bad habit, reduces your desire for the bad habit and increases your desire for the good habit. Leverage is used to convince you that you can change, you want to change and you must change. In the New-Habit method there are two parts to getting leverage, "the pep talk" and "the exaggerated moving images".
1. The Pep Talk: (Give yourself a reason to stop the bad habit.)
Describe in detail what is bad about the bad habit and what is good about the good habit. Make the description very painful and unpleasant for the bad habit and make the description very pleasant and enjoyable for the good habit. It's as simple as that.
An example of a pep talk for keeping candy bars out of your mouth is:
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PUTTING CANDY BARS INTO YOUR MOUTH IS BAD
Putting candy bars into your mouth is a bad habit that many people wish they did not have. They know that putting candy bars into their mouth is bad for them but they do it anyways because it makes them feel good, helps them cope with stress and they think that it is OK because everyone else around them is also doing it.
Some excuses that you use for putting candy bars into your mouth are:
I NEED TO PUT CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
I CAN'T RESIST PUTTING CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
I LIKE PUTTING CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
I AM BORED SO I PUT CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
I WANT TO PUT CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
STRESS MAKES ME PUT CANDY BARS INTO MY MOUTH !
The above excuses (that people use for putting candy bars into their mouth) are all too frequently used to justify a lifetime of eating candy bars. The mental and physical health effects of putting candy bars into your mouth are not always immediately noticeable, but great harm will be done to your mind and body if you continue to do it. Just because putting candy bars into your mouth tastes good and makes you feel good does not mean that it is good for you. There are some poisons that taste good and make you feel good too, before they kill you.
KEEPING CANDY BARS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS GOOD
Keeping candy bars out of your mouth is a good habit that many of us want and wish we had. The benefits are so great that there really isn't a good reason for you not to do it.
Some of the many benefits of keeping candy bars
out of your mouth are:
· you will have a healthier body and you will heal faster,
· you will have more energy and you will get things done quickly,
· you will have clearer and improved thinking,
· you will have improved coordination and faster reflexes,
· you will recover from sickness faster and get sick less often,
· you will look younger (improved skin),
· you will lose weight if you are overweight,
· you will live longer and be healthier when you get older,
· you will make better decisions and you will think faster,
· your self-confidence will be greatly improved,
· you will know what you want,
· you will be happier and you will have many friends that you can trust,
· you will be in control of your body,
· people will notice and appreciate you,
· your chances of being successful will increase drastically.
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2. The Exaggerated Moving Images: (Convince yourself that the bad habit is very bad and the good habit is very good. This will decrease the desire for the bad habit and increase the desire for the good habit.)
Use numbered lists of exaggerated imaginary moving-images to create simple short stories in your mind and imagine that they are happening to you. The stories are very simple, very short and can be exaggerated even to the point of being ridiculous. They don't have to be completely true but they should feel like they are happening to you.
Leverage uses a list of 15 or more exaggerated painful and unpleasant descriptions of the bad habit to convince you that you want to get rid of the bad habit. Leverage also uses an additional list of 15 or more exaggerated pleasurable and desirable descriptions of the good habit to convince you that you want to have the good habit.
Imagine that each item in the numbered lists is happening to you as you read it. The moving-images are exaggerated to enhance the painful and/or pleasurable experience and to create a sense of urgency. The moving-images do not have to be completely true, but they should be exaggerated, feel like they are happening to you and should be moving (like a very short TV commercial). The mind tends to treat moving-images as real, even exaggerated ones, as long as they are not too complicated and feel like they are happening to you. Still (stationary) images can work, but the effect is much more real to the person if the images are moving as they are imagined in your mind. To the mind, still images such as photographs and drawings are usually harmless and can be ignored, but something that is moving and unexpected could be a possible threat and your survival instinct will force you to give it a lot more attention.
Instructions for using the imaginary moving images are !
Read the numbered bad and good moving-image descriptions but don'tdwell on them for too long. Quickly read each one, momentarily imagine it is happening to you, then move on to the next one. The purpose is to get leverage quickly and with minimal effort. That is why there are so many of them. If a description confuses you, continue reading it and go on to the next one. You can always read it again later.
Here are some numbered examples of bad moving-image descriptions:
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1. You are putting candy bars into your mouth and you are very depressed. You are convinced that your life is not going to get any better so why even try. The rich and smart people (who do not put candy bars into their mouth) control everything so there is nothing left for you. You would rather put candy bars in your mouth than waste time with important things like eating the right foods, good grooming, exercise and increasing the quality of your life.
2. You are putting candy bars into your mouth and the rats in the corner are waiting for you to fall asleep so that they can crawl all over you and eat the candy bars that are still in your mouth. Rats like candy bars too. You wonder why the rats seem to be getting closer as you continue to put candy bars into your mouth.
Here are some numbered examples of good moving-image descriptions:
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1. You are slim and trim because you keep candy bars out of your mouth and people point to you when they say to their overweight kids, "Why can't you have a body like that". And you tell them, "It's easy, Just keep candy bars out of your mouth".
2. You keep candy bars out of your mouth and you see opportunities around you that you've never noticed before. The calmness and clear thinking that comes with keeping candy bars out of your mouth has allowed you to clearly observe your surroundings better and has opened up a whole new set of possibilities for you to improve your life even more. You have the self-confidence, the intelligence and the ambition to be a great success at just about anything you want to do.
3. You keep candy bars out of your mouth and your reflexes are much faster and your coordination has greatly improved. You are no longer clumsy and your movements are very coordinated and smooth since you decided to keep candy bars out of your mouth.
What is the SWISH?
Immediately after you get leverage, it is time to do the SWISH.
It is the SWISH that actually destroys the bad habit and inserts the good habit. It takes a bit of practice at first to get used to doing the SWISH but after awhile it becomes quite easy and quick to do.
To do the SWISH you will see and feel the pain of a bad moving-image that represents the bad habit, destroy it and then quickly see and feel the pleasure of a good moving-image that represents the good habit. Then you will stop thinking about it for a short time.
Swish Instructions !: (A) Pick a numbered description at random from the bad moving-image list and pick a numbered description at random from the good moving-image list. Then do the SWISH as described in the Swish Example Outline below. Repeat (A) for a total of 5 or more Swishes. An actual Swish example is given on the next page.
************* Swish Example Outline ************
1. Imagine in your mind, a very painful and unpleasant bad moving-image that represents the unwanted bad habit. Make it large, bright and noisy.
"A Bad Moving-Image description
picked at random from the bad moving-
image list goes here"
2. Imagine that it is happening to you, and see and feel the pain and unpleasantness of the bad moving-image for about 20 seconds.
3. Then suddenly freeze the bad moving-image, paint a big X over it, and quickly make it smaller, darker and silent until it disappears completely.
4. Then VERY QUICKLY see in your mind, a very pleasant and enjoyable good moving-image that represents the desired good habit. Make it large, bright and noisy. Some people make a SWISH sound while doing this.
"A Good Moving-Image description
picked at random from the good moving-
image list goes here"
5. Imagine that it is happening to you, and see and enjoy the painless and very desirable feelings from the good moving-image for about 20 seconds.
6. Then blank your mind or think of something else for about 30 seconds before going to the next swish example. This is very important.
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Reminder: Do the 4-step New-Habit method at least 3 times a day for about 5 days and the bad habit will be eliminated and the good habit will take its place.
************* Actual Swish Example ************
1. Imagine in your mind, a very painful and unpleasant bad moving-image that represents the unwanted bad habit. Make it large, bright and noisy.
(1.) You are putting candy bars into your mouth and you are very depressed. You are convinced that your life is not going to get any better so why even try. The rich and smart people (who do not put candy bars into their mouth) control everything so there is nothing left for you. You would rather put candy bars in your mouth than waste time with important things like eating the right foods, good grooming, exercise and increasing the quality of your life.
2. Imagine that it is happening to you, and see and feel the pain and unpleasantness of the bad moving-image for about 20 seconds.
3. Then suddenly freeze the bad moving-image, paint a big X over it, and quickly make it smaller, darker and silent until it disappears completely.
4. Then VERY QUICKLY see in your mind, a very pleasant and enjoyable good moving-image that represents the desired good habit. Make it large, bright and noisy. Some people make a SWISH sound while doing this.
(2.) You keep candy bars out of your mouth and you see opportunities around you that you've never noticed before. The calmness and clear thinking that comes with keeping candy bars out of your mouth has allowed you to clearly observe your surroundings better and has opened up a whole new set of possibilities for you to improve your life even more. You have the self-confidence, the intelligence and the ambition to be a great success at just about anything you want to do.
5. Imagine that it is happening to you, and see and enjoy the painless and very desirable feelings from the good moving-image for about 20 seconds.
6. Then blank your mind or think of something else for about 30 seconds before going to the next swish example. This is very important.
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Reminder: Do the 4-step New-Habit method at least 3 times a day for about 5 days and the bad habit will be eliminated and the good habit will take its place.
Why do you need "Hints And Things To Do"?
Getting a new good habit doesn't do you much good unless you use it. So give yourself encouragement to use it by making a short list of things to do with the new good habit that will make your life better. Also, give yourself hints that will make using the new good habit easier and more enjoyable.
An example to use when you "stopped eating candy bars" could be:
1. (Things to do) Go to a store and look at the candy bars but do not buy them. You can pick them up, touch them, even admire the packaging. But you do not put candy bars into your mouth, so walk away because they are not worth buying.
2. (Things to do) Take all the candy bars in your house, crush all of them, mix them with dirt and throw them away. You do not put candy bars into your mouth, so there is no reason for you to have them in your house.
3. (Things to do) Go to a vending machine, buy several candy bars, crush all of them, throw them into the toilet and flush it. Then walk away and forget about it.
4. (Things to do) Buy yourself something really nice and tell yourself that you can afford it because you do not put candy bars into your mouth.
How does the New-Habit Method Work?
The New-Habit method uses imaginary pain and pleasure to stop the bad habit. It uses two core principles that determine our responses to pain and pleasure. They are:
1. "We will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure"
2. "We move toward pleasure and away from pain"
If it comes to a choice between pain and pleasure, we will do more to avoid the pain than to achieve the pleasure (avoiding pain has a higher priority). Our instinct is to survive and we will move away from pain and toward pleasure if given a choice. The New-Habit method uses both pain and pleasure. The pain and the memories of the unpleasant bad moving-images will push you away from the bad habit and the pleasure and the anticipation of the desirable good moving-images will pull you toward the good habit.
When you get leverage you are reducing your desire for the bad habit and increasing your desire for the good habit because the painful images push you away from the bad habit and the pleasurable images pull you toward the good habit. Getting leverage also gives you a reason to change and convinces you that you can change, you want to change and you must change. Getting good leverage is a very important part of a successful habit change. The better the leverage, the easier it is to eliminate the bad habit.
When you do the SWISH you are momentarily interrupting and temporarily destroying the desire for the bad habit (which effectively eliminates the bad habit) for a very short period of time and during that time the good habit will take its place. At this point your mind is confused and susceptible to new input. If your mind likes the new pleasant and painless good habit, it will want to keep it (especially if you have enough leverage). Your mind will then use that opportunity to reject the old painful bad habit and replace it with the new pleasant and painless good habit.
"We Will Do More to Avoid Pain than to Gain Pleasure" and "We Move Toward Pleasure and Away From Pain", so we will try to keep the pleasure and reject the pain if we can. If done enough times, and if you have enough leverage, the desire for the old bad habit will be eliminated, the new good habit will become permanent and the bad habit will not return. The SWISH is done very quickly and is usually completed in 2 minutes or less.
It is important to blank your mind or think about something else for a short time between SWISHES. This prevents the bad moving-image of the next SWISH from canceling out the effect of the good moving-image used in the just completed SWISH. An extra benefit is that the desire for the good habit is increased when it is suddenly taken away.
The emphasis on using the good habit to replace the bad habit is because even though the SWISH destroys the desire for the bad habit, it is only a temporary destruction that lasts for a very short time. If the good habit is not successfully inserted and accepted during that time, the desire for the bad habit will return because your mind was comfortable with the bad habit and comfort is a form of pleasure. People can get comfortable doing bad things just as easily as they can get comfortable doing good things.
Updated November 25, 2007 ..... © 2007 Robert Kilgore
This completes the tutorial for the New-Habit method. For additional information please go to the web site http://www.newhabit.net/ for free downloads of New-Habit method information and New-Habit based cures for specific bad habits and fears.
A special thanks to Mr. Anthony Robbins whose book (Unlimited Power) taught me how to stop biting my nails and to stop eating meat in 1990.
The most important and best self-help book I've ever read. A little long winded and too many pages but still better than any of the other NLP books I've read. The "stop eating meat" part was accidental. I was playing around with SWISH moving-images to see if they actually worked and the moving-images got a little too graphic and disgusting so when I tried it (I was in a Wendy's at the time), well that was the last time I ever ate a cheeseburger (and I really liked cheeseburgers).
"Thank you Tony Robbins" |